So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
