im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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