Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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