I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
