TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
