I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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