My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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