I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
