i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
