Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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