if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
