So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize