I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
