My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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