Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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