We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
