well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
