it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
