writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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