dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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