Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
His nipple licking is glorious
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