I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
