I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
