I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
