She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
