At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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