How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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