it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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