He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
