Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
