Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its liver damage thursday
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
