My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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