I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
