dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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