Where are you?
In a non slutty way
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
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