I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
