It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
