I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize