i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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