I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
