Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
