clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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