She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
