how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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