Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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