The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
