I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
