but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
