Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
