There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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