How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
