That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
