The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i dont even know how to be here
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize