His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
