what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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