dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
