Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
