Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
false alarm. still invincible.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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