i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
