these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
