ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
