defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
