Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize