do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
