my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Alive.
So much puke
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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