I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
