The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
