On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
