He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
