I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yo dont text me then not text me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
