I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
