Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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