he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
