I must be too annoying 4 u.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We named our party play list daddy issues
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize